Thursday, December 1, 2011


Well another Movember came and went. As I promised, here is a pic of me fresh shaved.

Get used to it because for the next 11 months I will be sporting my chops aka "Classic Trojan".

What have I learned this Movember? Women donate more than men do. Men who wear mustaches have serious mental issues or supreme control (they itch like a mofo, look foolish on everyone but Tom Selleck or Yosemite Sam, and eating a peanut butter sandwich with one is a bitch) over their bodies.

Next Movember I think I'll go for the pencil thin 'stache and walk around all creepy  (check the vid below).

So it is time to retire this blog. At least until Movember 2012. Maybe I'll form a team for that one.

For those that are not on my Facebook or Twitter you can read my hack writing HERE.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Last day of Movember

Well today is the last day of Movember.


This mustache is annoying. It's itchy, food gets caught in it, and they are really not septum ring friendly.

When I decided to start this little blog it was mostly as a fun little way to help promote Movember and to make it more interesting for people who might want to kick in a few bucks to help sponsor me. My goal for fundraising was to get someone other than my mother to sponsor me. I'm proud to say that online and in real life I have collected just over $200 (which reminds me I'm going to have to send in the real money tomorrow morning)!

Thank you to all the girls that donated money. And to my dad. Who is not a girl, but chipped in too. There is something to be said about how all of my money raised (except for what my dad kicked in) came from women, Movember being about men's cancer issues and what not. Maybe next year I will try to get men to chip in at least 25% of what the women do.

Yes I am wearing a Doctor Who scarf. You are jealous.

Today is your last day to chip in. Click HERE to donate. Remember every penny counts!

Tomorrow... my naked face!

Monday, November 28, 2011


This post is mostly for the people who follow me on Facebook and Twitter but Crazy-Singing-Homeless-Guy is back, and he is all about Movember!!

 For those not in the know, I live in a rather interesting area. An assortment of regular street crazies keep me entertained enough that I do not need cable. One of the best is a man my readers and friends have come to know as "Crazy-Homeless-Singing-Guy". A man so fantastic that he belts out random songs (Elvis, Sex Pistols, Black Eye'd Peas, you name it) with the lyrics insanely amusingly wrong. I have not seen him for a few weeks sadly, and was worried that he got hit by a truck or something.

 Well ladies and gents, I am happy to report that he is back! Just 5 minutes ago I was on my way to the bank and heard a VERY loud and familiar voice.


 Today, I am happy.

 Hey, Movember is almost over... have you sponsored me yet? Click HERE.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Sponsor Me!

Well now you have no choice but to click HERE and donate to my Movember fund! And while you are at it you can post this link all over Facebook and Twitter toALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD! 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Der de mooosestache de bork bork!

Now THAT my friends, is a mustache!

Help me raise money this Movember to fight cancer! Click HERE to donate!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Natural Cancer Cures?

There seem to be 2 schools of thought when it comes to fighting cancer; All natural vs Big Pharma. Each side has people claiming that they are the only way, and that the other is all bunk. I'm not even going to pretend that I know who is right and who is wrong in this. I'm no rocket surgeon (which would be the coolest frigging job on the planet!). I'm just some writer trying to help fund the fight against cancer.

Personally I'd have to question anyone who tells me that tea leaves can cure cancer just as much as I'd be terrified to have radiation therapy (it IS radiation after all. I would very much question the effects it would have on my healthy organs. And I have it on good authority from a scientist friend that no, I would not be able to fire laser beams from my eyes or turn green and get extra strong when made angry... although I'm sure you wouldn't like me when I get angry anyways. I tend to sulk) going through my body.

Many in the natural cure camp point out that the doctors and researchers who discovered holistic or all natural treatments are facing lawsuits, license suspensions, and even jail sentences for the successful treatment of cancer patients.

"Everyone should know that most cancer research is largely a fraud and that the major cancer research organisations are derelict in their duties to the people who support them." - Linus Pauling Ph.D and 2 time Nobel Prize winner.

Dr. Hulda Regehr Clark Ph.D, N.D. is a Canadian independent research scientist specializing in biology, biophysics and cell physiology. She believes that two things are responsible for cancer; isopropyl alcohol and the human intestinal fluke parasite (yuck!).

Dr. Clark has discovered a way to kill off the fluke parasite using a combination of an electronic device called a 'zapper' (a hand held battery operated 9V frequency generator that uses positively offset square wave to electrocute parasites) and a herbal parasite killing program. The 'zapper' is a recognized medical device that should not be used by people with pacemakers or pregnant women.

Read up on Dr. Clark and her fight against cancer (she has been persecuted by government, the conventional medical community and the big drug companies and now operates a research facility in Tijuana, Mexico. Her health books are best sellers, in the top 3% of books sold on by clicking HERE. It will take you to her website.

So what is the answer? Well it is your body, so that is up to you. Do a little research of your own, and decide for yourself what path is best for you. Do not be bullied into going one way or the other, it is your health after all.

Feel free to help my little Movember fund by donating HERE so that I at least look like a fool with this mustache for a good reason.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Smell my finger

November 18th comes around, and all the girls are looking for a guy with a mustache... but come November 19th we drink alone.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


An angry mob is walking along the street. Someone yells, "Hey, let's hang that guy with a mustache!" Someone else yells, "Nah, let's use a rope!"

The Canadian Cancer Society is a pretty good place to go to to learn about the different forms of cancer that effect men (and women too). A good little section of their website to check out would be the part about Cancer Myths. Some of the cancer myths they bust are amusing, and some are rather depressing when you think that people actually think that way.

Tomorrow.. alternative thoughts on cancer and cancer medications brought to you by Coast To Coast (and my not being able to sleep full nights after watching the Human Centipede... ugh...). George Noory has an impressive little mustache for the record.

Help fund the fight against cancer... click HERE

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

My lip is getting heavier

I have learned an unexpected little fact. Mustaches have weight. I can feel this mustache on my lip. And I do not mean just that I can feel it, I mean I can feel the weight of it. This is an odd sensation.

It's actually thicker than it looks. Curse of the gingers means that it doesn't show up so well when you take a photo of it on your camera phone. I do however encourage all you women out there to come up and feel it if you'd like. It might feel even fuller if you happen to bake me some peanut butter cookies. Scientific fact.

Prostate Cancer (click the link to go to the Prostate Cancer website for Canada) is a form of cancer that develops in the prostate, a gland in the male reproductive system. Most prostate cancers are slow growing; however, there are cases of aggressive prostate cancers. The cancer cells may metastasize (spread) from the prostate to other parts of the body, particularly the bones and lymph nodes. Prostate cancer may cause pain, difficulty in urinating, problems during sexual intercourse, or erectile dysfunction. Other symptoms can potentially develop during later stages of the disease.

Click HERE to help fund the fight against cancer (the whole point behind this stupid mustache).

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The dangers of eating with a 'stache

Hello CBV Collections, 

 Please stop sending me collection notices. I am NOT Walter Mac Gillivray, and I have never been him. I have never lived with him. I have never met him. Judging by his ability to not pay his bills I'm sure he and I would not get along.

 I have phoned Bell Canada and e-mailed them telling them this many times when they kept sending me his bills. Now it seems to have gone to you, and I still am not Walter.

 My name is Kyle Murphy. I live at XXX . I live with one cat and one dog. Neither of them are named Walter.

 Walter's account numbers are XXX AND XXX.

 Again, not Walter (see signed name below)

 Kyle Murphy

 Just because I have a mustache at the moment does not mean I'm just going to lie down and accept other peoples bills! Take THAT Bell Canada and CBV Collections!

 So yesterday I made myself some Shahi Rajma (google it, it's food and quite yummy). I've been trying out all sorts of weird foods lately (somewhere out there, someone is looking at a grilled cheese sandwich and wondering what the hell is wrong with white people?) It turned out perfect and I ate every last bit of it. Then I was rather full so I went for a lie down. I woke up eventually to pee and noticed something in the bathroom (relax, this isn't one of THOSE posts). Some of the tomato sauce was in my mustache! Crusted to it! 

So after a quick shower I cleaned up all nice. Lesson learned for this coming weekend... shower after every meal!

Want to help end cancer? click HERE to donate! Every penny counts!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Now I look like an even bigger dork

So I was going to post a photo of the mustache growth, but I'm going to wait a day or two. Yes, just like the night before prom, or before that big date back in high school, I have got a pimple. Right in the frigging middle of my mustache! I mean it, like dead center.

I feel like a teenager. But a much cooler one, as I can buy beer. Go team me!

I wonder if I can convince this pimple to grow it's own mustache?

Don't let the pimple win! Click HERE to donate and help end cancer!

Monday, November 7, 2011

A history of Movember

Movember (Mo is slang for mustache, added to the word November, get it?) is an annual month-long event where men grow mustaches to help promote discussions about cancer, as well as raise funds for various cancer fighting charities.

Movember was started by a group of Australian men in 1999 from Adelaide, and like all good ideas it was birthed from a night in a pub. For Australians starting their summer season not having facial hair in November is not a big deal (come to think of it Australia is normally warmer than the rest of the world, so while Movember is a good cause, it just might also be Australia's way of giving the finger to the men of the rest of the world who suddenly are finding themselves pretty darn cold in the face for the month).

Movember quickly caught on around the world, and by 2004 the Movember Foundation Charity was set up to help raise awareness and money for various men's health issues in Australia and New Zealand. In 2007 events were launched in Canada, The United States, Ireland, Israel, Scotland, England, Spain, Denmark, South Africa and Greece. By 2011 men in countries all over the world were signing up to help raise funds for Movember and suddenly just about every man on the planet has started to look like a hipster for one month.

Rumor has it that Movember is also called "Novembeard", but I have learned this fact a little late in the game. A beard would be so much warmer for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere.

There are rules for Movember:

1, Shave October 31st, or if you are getting lucky that night, first thing in the morning (or afternoon) on November 1st when you make it home after doing the walk of shame. Or the walk of high fives if you just had a threesome.

2, Grow a mustache every day until December 1st (you can shave it at 12:01am, or decide to keep it if you are digging that hipster look. But people like me will mock you for the rest of your life).

3, Be proud of the lip fuzz you grow!

Movember... it almost makes up for Australia forcing Vegemite on the world... ALMOST.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Artificial Mutton Chops

My little history of Movember is going to be slightly delayed. Computer issues. So here I sit in a net cafe drinking a large black coffee, bringing you a photo of me and my hat. If you have been following this blog for the past 4 days you will have no doubt figured out that without my award winning mutton chops my face is freezing. Constantly. It's weird.

My mum bought me this hat for Christmas last year. I have been avoiding wearing it for almost a full year now (I'm sure you can figure out why). It hit me this morning that the flaps on it, when tied down can work as artificial mutton chops for me while I am doing this Movember thing. Yeah I may look ridiculous but my face is warm. 

Thanks mum!

Also I'd like to thank the women who donated to my Movember fund. $52 raised so far. You girls rock! Anyone else interested in donating to help me raise money to fight cancer please click HERE. Every penny counts! Also, if you'd like to pass this blog along through Facebook and Twitter and all the rest, please feel free.

My coffee is almost finished, so I'm going to head home and see if I can't just get my computer issues sorted.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Kicking a dog... now that's just mean cancer!

So you say Movember is a kind of cool idea, but meh, you don't really care. Your a busy fella, places to go, people to see. November 18th you're going to regret not taking part in Movember.

I was going to do a little history of Movember on here today to help educate people on what is going on (hint, it is pronounced Moe Vember not Move Ember so if you thought you had to move into a new place to take part you can stop packing). But this blog got an e-mail that I am going to share with you. Unedited.

"U should be ashemed! Mo Vember is all about fighting ending cancer!!! I hope u get cancer and die so u know what it feels to have cancer like everyone who has cancer!!! Men and women in Mo Vember are HEROES!!! U ass hole!!!"

Spelling and grammar aside (I am pretty sure that this individual does not want to fight against ending cancer. At least I think he is) I hope that at least some people out there have bothered to take the time to actually read beyond the blog addy and figured out what this blog is about.

Remember, if you would like to help donate to the fight against cancer just click HERE.

Come back tomorrow for the history of Movember.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

An update - Mr. Sandpaper Face!

It is a good thing I'm single. This photo does not really do it justice, but I am fast becoming Mr. Sandpaper Face! Ladies love getting rug burn on their lips. Right? Right? Sigh....

Thanks for the donations I've been getting online (click HERE if you want to donate online) and in real life. Every penny counts people.

Something to think about before you give to a cancer fighting charity

Cancer is bad. I'm going to state that right before we let this horse out of the gate here. My heart and prayers go out to the people, the friends and families who are fighting against cancer. To the researchers trying to find new ways to manage, and beat cancer, you have my support and respect. A large chunk of the cancer fighting charities can kiss my glow in the dark Irish rear-end however.

How can I be all for ending cancer but have a problem with some cancer charities? Read on and I will tell you.

There are certain charities that hold fun little events, like having walks and runs against cancer. We've all seen them. Maybe a few of you reading this have taken part, or sponsored someone who has. The people register, get pledges from their friends, family members and coworkers to walk run or bike 5k, 10k or more. The charities get money, the people involved get some exercise, and a lot of fun and feel good times are had by all, so what is not to like? Next time you see a pamphlet for one of these events, pick it up and give it a good read. You might notice something.

One thing some of these charities have started doing is instating a minimum amount of money that a person who wishes to help out must raise to take part in these events. If you do not meet the minimum required stated, you must make up the difference, or you are not allowed to take part, and your donation will be refused.

I have a huge problem with this. The world economy is in trouble. The cost of living is rising, and a lot of people struggle to stay afloat. If I want to take part in one of these events, and raise $180, then be happy I raised $180. Do not charge me $20 to make it $200. That $20 might be needed. Maybe it's bus fare. Maybe it's going to buy me some milk and bread. There are people out there that every penny they have counts. Or what of the child that wants to help out, works hard to get sponsors but falls short of the minimum? Are you going to tell this little boy or girl to go home? What kind of lesson would that be to them?

Look at it this way, when a food bank decides to have a food drive, do they tell you to bring them steak, and turn away donations of apple juice or pasta?

Now I can see how a charity might require a minimum donation if say everyone going on the walk/run were getting a t-shirt. What they should do in a situation like this is still accept donations from people wanting to take part, and not give them the free shirt if they fall short. Events like these are to raise money after all, and can not be operating at a loss. But to tell someone who took the time, made the effort to get donations and actually show up that that their fund-raising is not good enough is wasteful and just mean. Every penny counts.

Another thing that you might want to look into before deciding to support a cancer fighting charity is where your money is going. What is the breakdown for every dollar they get? Yes administrative costs to run a charity are a reality, and that is fine. People do need to earn a living, ads need to be printed and such. But how much of your money goes to the charity, and how much goes to the company running the advertising and management of the charity? 20%? 40%? 80%? Are you okay with 20 cents out of every dollar you raised actually getting towards the people doing research to help end cancer, with the other 80 cents going to some ad firm?

Finally, they money that does make it towards cancer research, does it make it to real scientists working hard to help people? Or does it go to big pharmaceutical companies who know that their best interests lie not in finding cures for cancer but in making sure people live just long enough that they can turn a profit on their illness?

I'm not going to name names. If you are reading this, that means you have the internet. Do a little research before you decide who to fund. It is your money after all. There are good charities out there that want to help, and try their best. It's too bad that some of the more slicker events tarnish their attempts and take away needed money from them.

There IS a cure out there for all sorts of different cancers. One day with your help we will find it.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A quick update.

If you want to help me this Movember but don't want to, or can't grow lip fuzz, there are 2 things that you can do.

1. Spread the word. Feel free to pimp this little blog to your friends. Twitter, Facebook, Myspace (hahaha... oh Myspace...).

2. Click HERE to donate. Remember, every little bit helps!

For the record, my face is STILL freezing!

So Movember is upon us, and again I find myself roped into taking part. But rather than be like most people I know who are just growing an ugly mustache I figured I'd blog about it. Because let's face it, EVERYONE and their grandmother is blogging these days.

So on this little blog you can read all about my amusing (mis)adventures in growing an ugly mustache, see photos of it growing, and find links to various websites about cancer, research in fighting it, and some information on why there are some cancer charities that can... well I'll be polite, so let's just say "can go away."

Who am I? Odds are if you are reading this you already know who I am, but my hack writing seems to bringing me new fans (it still seems weird to me to admit that) every day so for all the newbies I might as well say some things about me.

My name is Kyle Trojan Murphy, and I'm a 34 year old skinhead. If you don't know what a skinhead is, or just watched American History X please Google skinhead. Traditional, Trad, or S.H.A.R.P. all pretty much cover it. Anything you read about white power, racists and nazis has nothing to do with me (or proper skinheads) at all. I write. Pretty horribly actually. But people, magazines and website seem to pay me for it. Go figure. At the moment I'm working on two little books. Brass Knuckles & Lace, which happens to be all about proper skinhead girls (again, none of that white power nonsense) and Oi! The Book, a book all about oi music (you can Google that too).

I am rather fond of my award winning mutton chops, so to help me through this traumatizing ordeal I have enlisted the help of Broker's London Dry Gin. Liquid courage, that is what I need right now. Like all writers I tend to drink. Gin being my drink of choice. Yes it might be before 9 am, but being as how I have yet to go to bed, this does not count as problem drinking.

The first cut is the deepest, or so they say. I can feel my mojo decreasing with every swipe of the razor blade. What have I learned from my adventures in total face shaving? Well for one thing I am uglier than I remember.


Also it happens to be cold today. VERY cold. My face is freezing! Tune in tomorrow for a rant about some evil cancer "charities".